I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
