Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
