She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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