I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
