you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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