just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize