we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
