Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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