Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
