It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
