One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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