so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
