Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
