How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
