Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
