Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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