Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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