perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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