That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
