I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
