You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize