Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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