Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
