I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
