I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
