i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
