just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
ok first of all what the fuck
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
