Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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