You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
