ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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