pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
FUCK WHALES
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
