I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
