dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
