bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize