Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry cougarsnatch14 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(561): View more from Florida

Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

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(785): View more from Kansas

It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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(518): View more from New York

so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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(501): View more from Arkansas

As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

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(303): View more from Colorado

YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES

(1-303): View more from Colorado

YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?

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(503): View more from Oregon

Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Alcohol

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?

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