How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
