you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
