I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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