Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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