Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
