I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you inspire me to be a worse person
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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