During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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