I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had hair everywhere except his balls
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize