I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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