I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
