you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
