we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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