Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Bring me that man meat
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
