So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
