If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
