Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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