this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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