im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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