so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it was like eating out sand paper
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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