i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
