After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
