Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
