He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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