If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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