I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
P.S. I can't hear my feet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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