I am puke
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
